Please excuse me for the day
I had two awful dreams last nightin the first I failed out of school and
a bunch of women in ball gowns were
whipping me and in the second I was
giving the eulogy at my aunt's funeral except
she's very much alive I talked
to her on the phone last night about
our end of the world party last October and
how a hurricane much like Sandy swept
across the state this time last year and
it must be more than just a coincidence and
when I should've been trying to get out of the house
I was reading wikipedia articles about the solar system
and the discovery of Pluto in 1930 and
how Pluto and its biggest satellite Charon
are tidally locked and actually revolve around each other
and I knew it was time to go when I realized
I was watching youtube videos of Zooey Deschanel
on some late-night Scottish talk show
and Mary called to tell me how a girl
at a halloween party dressed up as a venus fly-trap
railed a Smartie® off of her ass last night because
she hadn't snorted anything since 1996 and
suddenly I see a headline
LANA TURNER HAS COLLAPSED
and I'm sorry if my tone seems harsh but
who the fuck is Lana Turner?
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