hand me the moon

It’s weird,
How some people can sense your pain.
They don’t even have to know you,
Your name, your history.
Unaware of the situation,
Unacquainted with the details
Of your heartache and suffering,
Somehow, these strangers,
By simply staring through your salt-stained windows
And reading the wrinkled maps in your forehead,
Know that you are grieving.



I want to stop feeling like this:
Naked and vulnerable
Ugly and unapproachable
I want to stop grieving
I want to stop feeling incompetent


I don’t want people to look at me
And tell me my eyes look sad.









I want to feel special again

I want to feel like maybe I’m doing things right,
That I don’t have to change
That I can stop making up excuses

I want to feel validated.
I want to dazzle.
I want to shine.

I want to feel.
I want to connect.
I want to share details
And grease the wheel over cake

I want to be held
I want to stop wondering how long I’ll have to sleep alone.
I want to feel someone’s breath on my neck,
I want to feel another beating heart.
To press my body into another,
And fold myself into their arms.

I want to stop feeling bitter when I see happy couples.
I want to stop feeling ashamed for feeling bitter.
I want to kiss someone on new years.
I want to come home to someone.

I want to hold hands.


I want to write love letters for someone,
And pen poetry
And compose songs
And paint.
I want to live out fairy tales
With happy endings.






I want to feel magic
I want to feel human.

I want to share
I want to give my love
I want to give my soul
I want to give everything I have to offer






I’m sure I’m capable.
I just want to feel capable.




It’s just hard
When someone tries you on for size
And tosses you aside.
Threads are still caught
Heart strings are still pulled.




“One day you will meet the man of your dreams,
But the road will be long and painful.
Without this journey ahead,
You could not truly appreciate
The one who will save your life.”

I never thought about it this way.
I always thought I’d be the one doing the saving.
Not the other way around.


Maybe I really do just need someone to hand me the moon,
And save my life.